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It Could
by DiteyAuthor's Note: This. Um. I was trying to prove a point, some sort of parallel, and I'm not sure if I got it through. So, yeah. Read and review, and I'll love you all. Or don't, you know, as the case might be. I'll still love you.
[ * ]
When Amy was a teenager, she dated Colin Hart. They were homecoming king and queen for all of their high school days, and they won every superlative ever coveted. He was a living, breathing miracle, she was the only girl worthy to grace his presence. They were revered, respected, all but worshipped in their small town.
When Amy graduated, Colin proposed to her on bended knee and all. She tried not to search for Ephram's face in the shadows when Colin slipped the ring on her hand, and she accepted with a grin that won 'Brightest Smile' earlier that year.
Amy's 27, working fervently over a kitchen table, trying to recall math equations she studied long ago in high school. Or should have studied, her difficulties revealed, rather than send love letters and pass notes during the class period.
A tiny hand tugged at her jeans, and she glanced at the clock to realize that it was already noon. With a sigh, she ushered the little boy to his room where, despite his protests, she made him wash his face and change his mud-caked shirt from playing too much kickball.
It had been eight years since she had to quit college in her first year, pregnant. Her parents were furious--her father's phone calls still have a certain stiffness to them-- but there was no choice, really.
Colin loved him more than anything. Sometimes, Amy thought, more than herself, but Colin did adore him. He sent the little boy presents every Christmas, presents taken directly from the wish list Amy clued him in on every December.
The boy adored his father too. He didn't notice the gaps between their meetings, just the time when they were together in which they played basketball and video games--boy stuff, Amy was informed by her son. She kept to cooking in the kitchen, or reading in the living room, trying to ignore the sounds of lasers shooting or basketballs dribbling.
Colin was an entrepueneur of the best kind. His public speaking could talk a conservative business man into betting his fortune on a small unknown. It was a mixture of his comatose story that made any person capable of emotion feel empathy, and expert story telling. And it seemed like business was more important to him, sometimes, than his family. He spent most of his time away from Amy. Doing what, Amy could only imagine. Though she had heard Colin's profuse testimonials that he loved her and would never do anything to hurt her many times, and had to trust him when he went on business trips to Vegas and the like with her brother.
She kept trying to have Colin stay home more, but Colin was stubborn in his ways, every conversation ended in a tirade of company finances, the next big deal, and only one more week of work could insure them thousands. And she kept quiet.
Colin was...a charmer. Only he could go away on international business trips fifty weeks a year, and still capture the love of everyone he met. When he came home for Thanksgiving, or someone's birthday, all the hurt feelings and angry outburst Amy had kept inside of her for a year, all the, 'where were you when he needed you?'s and, 'He needs a father too's, and all she could do was welcome Colin home, bake him cookies, and get lost in his embrace.
And their son...that was another story. To him, Colin was his hero. He wanted to be just like him...he dreamed of being the star player of the Everwood Miners, he listened to his dad's old Linkin Park CDs, he wanted people to look at him and think, 'Like father, like son.'
Yes, Colin had him under some spell those few weeks he was actually at home. The two would go off together without warning, leaving Amy alone in the house, calling all of their friends to see if a little stranded boy was wandering the streets, only to find out about their ice cream escapades. He came to Colin for all of his problems, like what to do about the mean bully stealing his crayons, and listened to Colin's exxagerated stories about his year, like escaping a deal with the mafia, and busting a few loan sharks, and what not.
"Okay, I'll be back in a few hours, okay?" Amy reassured. The little boy looked around at the day care surroundings, the fluffy furniture and brightly colored murals, grimacing at the girly choices. His eyes fell on the video game console tucked away in the corner, and he immediately found the place to be more interesting.
"Ms. Hart, he's in good hands," said a brown-haired woman. She crouched down to the boy's height and put on her 'talking to children' voice.
"And what's your name?" she asked, in a very high-pitched and coo-ing way.
"Ham," answered the boy, still intrigued by the Nintendo in the other room.
"Short for Hamlet," Amy explained, before waving goodbye to the eight-year old and heading back home.
***
Less than two hours until Colin arrives from the airport, Amy thought, putting down her purse on the kitchen counter. She heaved her shoulders to see the house in a state of chaos, little army men flung every where and heaps of laundry still unfolded. She bit her lip and shifted glances from the clock and the living room, deciding what sort of super powers she would need to clean out the mess.
She got started, quickly filing away packages of cookies and ice cream cartons in their respective places, and shoving newspapers and magazines in a cabinet where they would not be seen. Grabbing a large garbage bag, she stuffed miscellaneous items inside, and threw it in the coat closet.
After half and hour of unorthodox cleaning, the house was in a presentable state, as long as no drawers or closets are opened.
Amy wanted to say she didn't feel like she had to impress Colin, or maybe that she was doing fine without him. Maybe she was trying to be feministic and independent to tell Colin to pull his own weight around the house and in raising his son.
She knew anything she would try to say against him, thought, would melt away in her mind the moment she saw him.
Colin arrived late, an hour late, but no one minded, because Ham left the picture he was coloring the moment he heard the door open, to jump on his father with suitcases still in his hand.
Colin entertained him for the moment, with "you're getting so tall"s and, "Amy, who is this handsome, strong young man, and what have you done with my son?"s. And Ham just giggled a bit, his ego magically increased by ten points being called handsome and strong.
Amy smiled her wistful smile and whispered an, "I missed you," before wrapping her arms around his neck. The reply in her ear was, "Me too, Grover."
***
After dinner, Ham could hardly wait for a game of basketball, and cheered wildly whenever he got a shot past his championship winning father. Two games and an ice cream sandwich later, Colin fell back in the couch next to Amy with an exhausted sigh.
"How was his first day of school?" he asked, vanilla ice cream rolling down his lip.
Amy glanced up from the magazine she was reading. "Here it is", she told herself, "say something snippy! A 'you would have known if you were there for him.' This is your chance to let him know about everything you've thought this entire year. The dinners alone, Ham's face on Father's Day, all the birthday cards printed out on the computer with just his name signed on the bottom...this is it. Tell him. Something to let him know how much his son missed him. Something to let him know how much you missed him."
Instead, all she could do was look at him with glittering brown eyes and smile, 'Great. Ham made a lot of friends. And the teachers love him.'
Colin's reply was a smile as he leaned back into his chair. "Ham..." he thought out loud. "Tell me again how we came up with that?"
Amy didn't hesitate, didn't falter like she did nine years ago. She didn't look down guiltily when she replied, "Shakespeare. It's beautiful, it's poetic, it's truly wonderful. Just like him."
***
Ten o'clock, and Colin reached over and turned off the bedside lamp. He kissed Amy softly before turning on his side and falling asleep. Amy was still awake, eyes wide open and staring out of the window like she did every night. It was like some sort of ritual.
Every night. The thoughts that invaded her mind at this time used to scare her. She was married, though it may not look like it. She had dated Colin all her life, since she was a young teenager. She could trust him.
Oh, Colin was never around, and one thing led to another...
Colin's never around, she kept reassuring herself. No one deserves that. You don't deserve that. You deserve someone better. Someone that will love you and care for you and..
And then she thought about a piano playing man from her past, and smiled.
***
When Amy was in high school, she was in love with Ephram Brown.[ * ]
Author's Note: I like getting reviews. :) Thanks for reading.
(c) everfic. cue edna's voice: i don't own squat, private.
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