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Landslide
by bigboobedcanuckChapter Twelve
Thanks so much for all the support and lovely comments about the previous chapters, and I hope y'all like this one, too. :)
[ * ]
Ephram’s heart sank a bit as he rounded the corner of the hallway and saw that Bright was not at his locker. He’d missed Bright before homeroom, and now he was desperate to see him. As everyone bustled by on their way to the cafeteria for lunch, Ephram leaned against the wall, hands in pockets, in what he hoped was a casual pose.
After an interminable five minutes, Bright finally arrived. He could barely meet Ephram’s eyes. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey.” Ephram gulped, suddenly unsure of what to say. Last night, everything had seemed so clear. They would stick together; there was no question. The stars had shone down and they’d clung together reassuringly. Yet in the fluorescent light of day, surrounded by ugly lockers with chipped paint, things didn’t seem as clear. He could sense that Bright was pulling away from him.
“So, I’m like, totally grounded.” Bright opened his locker and threw his books inside.
“For how long?”
“Um, forever, I think.”
“Don’t worry, everything’s going to be okay.” Ephram cringed at the tremor in his voice.
“Yeah, right,” Bright said, and slammed his locker shut. “Look, let’s go somewhere. The gym’s deserted at lunch.”
Ephram nodded his assent and they walked. The gym was indeed empty, and they hurried into the supply closet. They stood a couple of feet apart and Ephram crossed his arms and fidgeted.
“Ephram, look—”
“Are you dumping me?” Ephram decided that the best defence was a good offence.
Bright blinked in surprise. “What? Do…do you want me to?”
“No. But are you?” Ephram’s stomach churned.
“No. But look, I need to tell you something—”
“See? You are!”
“You know, if you’d shut up for like, five seconds, I could tell you what I have to tell you.” Bright sighed in exasperation.
Ephram blushed and said, “Yeah, okay.”
“I think my dad’s going to tell your dad, like, soon. So you’d better tell him yourself, as soon as you can.”
Ephram’s brow creased in confusion. “Well, yeah, I figured. Is that what you had to tell me?”
“Yeah. I just thought…I thought you’d be pretty pissed. You were really great last night, but when my asshole dad outs you, I don’t think you’re going to be so nice to me.” Bright picked up a basketball and passed it back and forth between his hands.
“Bright, it’s not your fault your dad’s a prick. I’m not going to blame you for what he does.”
“But I didn’t have to tell him the truth. This is all my fault.” Bright’s voice caught, and he dribbled the ball a few times.
“Bright…” Ephram took a few steps closer and knocked the ball away. It bounced into the corner with a thud. Ephram grasped hold of Bright’s hands and looked up at him intently. “I meant it. What I said before, about…about loving you. I’m not going to give up on this. On you.”
“I just thought…if you want out, I won’t blame you.”
“I thought we went through this last night. God, your drama queen routine is really nearing perfection,” Ephram said, as he kissed Bright softly. The kiss deepened and Bright pulled Ephram closer.
“It is not,” Bright said, as he broke away for air. A smile creased his face.
“Sure, whatever you say.” Ephram grinned and hugged Bright tightly.
“Are you nervous?” Bright pulled back and looked at Ephram, concern creasing his forehead. “About telling your dad?”
“Yeah, I guess. I mean, I think he’ll be fine with it. I’m not looking forward to it, but I think it’s going to okay.”
“Yeah, your dad’s a lot cooler than mine.” Bright kissed him again.
“Yeah. So, you’re grounded, huh?”
Bright laughed bitterly. “Oh yeah, I’m grounded. Because obviously if I can’t see you, I’ll stop being gay and everything will be all back to normal.”
Ephram’s hands slid down to Bright’s ass. “Sounds like quite a plan.”
“Yep, I should be hitting on chicks again any minute now,” Bright said, as he ground his hips against Ephram’s. They laughed and kissed again.
“So when am I going to be able to see you? Like, really see you?”
Bright sighed heavily. “For now, it’s just going to have to be at school. My dad’s totally acting like part of the gazpacho.”
Ephram laughed softly and ran his hand through Bright’s hair. “Gestapo. And don’t worry, he can’t ground you forever. We’ll work something out.”
“Yeah.” Bright’s lips moved to Ephram’s neck and Ephram sighed into him. As long as they had each other, he could deal with whatever happened.
-----------------------
As Ephram walked through the front door, he thought that he could feel the air get just a bit heavier. But everything seemed normal, and it didn’t look his father or Delia were home yet. He chugged some Coke from the fridge and headed up to his room. As he pushed open the door, he stopped dead in his tracks.
His father sat at the end of Ephram’s bed, his shoulders slumped.
“Dad? What are you…what’s going on?” Ephram dropped his bag in the corner and walked around his bed to face his father. “Are you…what are you doing in here? Did you, like, look through my stuff or something?” Ephram’s heart pounded and he felt the thrum of fear and anger moving through him.
Andy looked up at him. “No, I didn’t look through your things, Ephram. I was just…thinking.”
“In my room.” His father just nodded, and when he didn’t say anything else, Ephram steeled himself. “You know. Right?”
Andy nodded. “Yes, I know.” His father looked at him with such sadness that Ephram felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He pulled out his desk chair and sank unsteadily into it.
“Dad, I don’t expect you to understand…”
“Why not?” Andy’s voice was thick with emotion.
“What?” Ephram felt completely adrift.
“Why not, Ephram? For god’s sake, why not?” Andy looked at him beseechingly. “I thought we’d come so far, that I’d finally gotten to know you. Don’t you trust me? Don’t you know that you can tell me anything and that I’ll never, ever stop loving you? How did I fail so badly that you didn’t know that?”
“I…I just…Dad…” Ephram’s eye prickled with tears. “You didn’t fail, okay? I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
“I don’t know. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
“I just don’t understand how I could have been so blind.” Andy shook his head and sighed.
“Dad, it’s not your fault. It kinda surprised me, too.” Ephram snorted ruefully.
Andy sat up straighter and looked at him keenly. “How did this all come about, Ephram? You and Bright, when did you become…more than friends? I’ve been trying to pinpoint it—”
“Dad, stop trying to like, examine everything. Look, it happened. I think I always had these feelings, I just never let them out, or whatever. It just…is what it is.”
“When you went to Denver, did you…were you safe?”
Ephram felt the blush travel up his neck and flood his face. He ducked his head. “Yeah. Don’t worry, okay?”
“I’m always going to worry, Ephram. But I trust you. I just…I never saw this coming.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
The door slammed downstairs and Delia’s voice floated up the stairs. “Helloooooo? Dad? Ephram? I’m home!”
Ephram and Andy looked at each other and Andy cleared his voice. “Delia, I’ll be right down,” he called. “Go ahead and have some cookies.”
Delia’s excited squeak made Ephram grin, despite himself. His smile soon faded. “Dad, you’re not going to tell anyone, right?”
“Of course not, not until you want to. Dr. Abbott was very angry when I spoke to him. How’s Bright? This must be very difficult for him.”
Ephram suddenly felt a lump in his throat and the tears that had been threatening flooded his eyes. “His dad said such awful things. He hurt him so much. I hate it, I feel so…helpless. I just want to make everything better for him, but there’s nothing I can do. It’s so…it really sucks.”
Andy stood and crossed the small space to where Ephram was sitting. He put his arm around Ephram’s shoulders and drew him against him. “I know, it’s hard to see someone you care about in pain. Don’t worry, everything will turn out fine. Okay?”
Ephram sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Yeah, okay.” Andy patted his back and then started to shuffle out of the room. “Dad.” Andy turned in the doorway, and Ephram winced at the shell-shocked look his father still wore. “Thanks. I…thanks for being so cool, Dad.”
Andy smiled tiredly. “You’re welcome, son.” He left, pulling the door shut behind him.
Ephram moved over to the bed and curled up. He drifted off to sleep to the distant sounds of Delia’s laughter and the clanging of pots and pans.
----------------------
Bright ignored the knocking at his door and continued contemplating the ceiling. But he knew that eventually, it would be opened, and he cursed his father’s refusal to allow them locks on their doors.
The door creaked as it released, and then slid shut.
“So, what did you do this time?” Amy’s voice was light, mocking.
“Go away.” Bright could still see the faint outline of where his six-grade science fair project had exploded up onto the ceiling. His father had ranted and raved about how Bright would have to repaint the ceiling, but he never had, and his father had long forgotten.
“Come on, what happened? Dad’s like, mega-pissed, and now he’s fighting with Mom, because he won’t tell her why. It must have been really bad. Did you fail English, or something? I know how hard it is for you to master your native tongue.”
Bright said nothing, and hoped that she’d just go away.
“Come on, now you’re supposed to say something about how bad I am at Spanish, or how I still can’t shoot a basket to save my life. Come on. Bright?”
Bright closed his eyes, and prayed for her to leave. Instead, the bed dipped as she sat down beside him.
“Bright? This isn’t funny. What’s wrong?” Amy’s voice was tight with worry. “Why are you crying?”
Bright opened his eyes with a start. He hadn’t even noticed the tears slipping down his cheeks. He looked up at Amy, staring down at him with concern and fear.
“Seriously, tell me what’s wrong.” Her eyes were wide and she seemed to be holding her breath.
Bright wiped his cheeks and turned over on his side, his back to her. “Nothing. I failed English, just like you thought.”
“No, you didn’t, don’t lie. What’s going on? I’m getting Mom.”
“No!” Bright rolled over and caught Amy’s wrist as she rose from the bed. “Don’t. Okay? I’ll be fine.”
She sank back down and watched him fearfully. “Then tell me what’s the matter.”
“I can’t right now, okay? I will. Just…just…I will. Okay? Don’t worry, I’m not, like, dying or anything.”
Amy sucked in a breath. “But you’re sick? Is that what’s wrong? Or you sick, or something?” She reached out and touched his forehead, as if it would reveal the answers she sought.
Bright sniffled and managed a laugh as he batted her hand away. “No, I’m not sick. Dad might argue, but I’m not.”
Amy’s stare was piercing. “What? What does that mean? That means you are sick, then. What is it? Like, a disease?” Her lower lip trembled, and Bright felt a sudden surge of affection for her.
He sat up, and wiped his eyes again. He took a deep breath and patted her knee awkwardly. “Amy, I swear, I’m not sick, and I don’t have a disease. Everything’s going to be fine. Dad’s just really pissed about something, and we’re going to have to work it out. I didn’t mean to scare you. But thanks. You know, for caring.”
“Of course I care, Bright. I mean…you know. You’re my brother.” She still looked at him with wide eyes. “I know things were like, bad, for a while, but…of course I care.”
“Yeah, I know. Look, things are going to be really…weird around here. But I really need you to be on my side. I know, I’m being all mysterious and crap, sorry.”
“I’ll always be on your side, Bright. Well, not when you want to watch some stupid basketball game when The O.C. is on. But, you know, when it matters. You’re my brother, stupid.”
“Thanks.” Bright sniffed again and suddenly Amy’s thin arms were around him. He didn’t have a chance to return the hug before she was up and off the bed, the door closing behind her.
----------------------
“Pass the salt, please.”
Bright looked up from his plate, where his dinner was being swirled around with his fork, his peas flattened. His mother looked at him with penetrating eyes. She waited expectantly.
“Oh, sorry. Here,” Bright said, as he pressed the salt shaker into her hand. His father looked on in silence from the end of the table. Amy watched from across the table and gave him an encouraging smile.
“Bright, are you feeling okay?” His mother’s voice was determined and Bright could sense the anger in it. Anger at his father, though.
“Yeah, Mom, I’m fine.” He stole a glance at Harold, who cut his beef into precise cubes. Bright felt like ripping the napkin from his father’s throat and throwing it in his face.
“No, you’re not. I want to know what’s going on, and I want to know now.” His mother’s voice shook slightly.
“Rose, I already explained that it’s nothing. Bright and I had a little disagreement, but it’s already been settled.” Harold sipped his milk and wiped the corner of his mouth.
“Oh yes, Harold, I know. You’ve already explained. But I’d like to hear it from our son.”
“Rose—”
“Okay. I was going to wait, but this…obviously, I can’t. Mom, there’s something I need to tell you,” Bright said. His stomach churned and he felt like his nerves were on fire.
“No, there isn’t—” His father’s face clenched even tighter.
“What is it, sweetheart? What’s going on?” Rose peered at Bright with apprehension marking her face.
“Bright, you’ll not say another word. Like I said, this has been settled.” His father stared daggers at him.
“Dad, why don’t you just let him talk,” Amy said.
“Go to your room, young lady. Right now.” Harold turned his anger on Amy.
“Dad, I think we need to know what’s going on, because obviously it hasn’t been settled, or whatever.” Amy’s tone was measured.
“Go to your room now, or you’re grounded for the rest of the month,” Harold spat.
“Leave her alone, she didn’t do anything!” Bright dropped his fork on his plate with a metallic clang.
“Fine, you go to your room and let us eat our dinner in peace!” Harold’s face grew red and flushed.
“Dad, this is so retarded. Obviously, Mom and Amy know something’s up, and even though I know you think you can make this all disappear, you can’t!”
“What is going on? Tell me!” Rose’s voice rose sharply.
“I’m gay.”
The words hung in the air, and everything seemed to happen at once, but in slow motion, too. Bright heard his mother’s quick intake of breath, and saw his sister’s eyes get wider than he thought possible. He saw his father’s fists clench on the table.
The shocked silence stretched out until Bright thought he’d scream. “So, yeah, that’s the big secret. Sorry.”
“Oh, sweetheart. Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Rose reached out and took Bright’s hand in hers.
“I didn’t?”
“No! Of course not! Harold, what have you been saying to our son? What have you done?”
“Rose, I’m handling this. It’s just a phase, obviously, a futile act of rebellion.”
“No, it’s not, Dad. Mom, I tried to explain…I don’t know when it happened or how or why or any of that stuff. But I know it’s true.”
“Oh, Bright. I’m not going to lie and say that this isn’t a shock. It is. I…yes, it is a shock. But you know I love you, and your father loves you, although he might not be acting like it very much right now.”
“And I do, too,” Amy said. Her face was wan, but she managed a little smile.
“Oh, for god’s sake! This is all ridiculous! My son is not a homosexual! Can’t you see this is all a pathetic attempt to get back at me?”
“Harold, stop. You’re the one being ridiculous!”
“Am I, Rose? I’m not the one carrying on with that miscreant son of Dr. Brown. Clearly this is all his doing.”
Anger surged through Bright. “Don’t talk about him like that, Dad. Just don’t.”
“Or what? What are you—”
“Ephram?” Amy’s voice was thin and high.
Bright looked at her and sighed. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you….”
“You and…Ephram? You’re, like…what? Together? You’re both….” Amy trailed off and stared at Bright in shock.
“Amy—” Bright tried to explain, but she pushed her chair back suddenly.
“I have to go now,” she said, as she disappeared around the corner into the kitchen.
“Well, are you happy now, Bright?” Harold’s voice was mocking.
“No, Dad, I’m not happy. Not that you actually care,” Bright said, as he got up from the table.
“Bright, wait, don’t listen to him—”
“Mom, I have to go out for a while, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I love you, Mom.”
“Oh, honey, I love you, too,” Rose said, as she jumped up and hugged him tightly.
Bright ran from the house, the angry voices of his parents ringing in his ears. His feet pounded the pavement as he ran through the streets, not paying attention to where he went. The wind rushed in his ears and his heart pounded loudly in his chest. Yet no matter how fast or far he went, he could still hear the sound of his father’s voice, slicing through him so effortlessly, like so many little knives.(c) everfic. cue edna's voice: i don't own squat, private.
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