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One Word Series
by bigboobedcanuckChapter Thirteen: Declaration
Thanks again to everyone who has been following along and giving such great support. As always, feedback is always very much appreciated!
Without further ado...[ * ]
“So. That went well.”
Ephram opened his eyes and lifted his head from the wall he was leaning against. He blinked into the sun and tried to focus on Bright, whose eye he could see was beginning to swell.
Ephram snorted. “Yeah, you think you can come to New York with me and out me to my grandparents? I could use the help.” Bright laughed nervously and they smiled tentatively at each other.
They really didn’t know what else to do.
---
The cacophony of voices had made Ephram want to run and hide. He wished suddenly that his father was there, that he hadn’t snuck out of the house, that he had never even met Colin Hart.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Mr. Hart’s boomed out over the din. “My son is not a…a…my son is decent and God-fearing and normal!” He spit the words out, his face growing more red by the second.
“Bright, why would you say this? You know that’s not true!” Amy’s eyes were wide and she looked from her brother to her parents in desperation.
“Colin isn’t gay! Why on earth would you say something so terrible?” Mrs. Hart’s shrill voice danced up Ephram’s spine.
“Alright, everyone calm down.” Dr. Abbott raised his hands and spoke with authority. “This is a hospital. Everyone needs to take a breath and relax.”
“Relax?” Amy looked at her father, stunned. “Dad, how are we supposed to relax? Didn’t you hear what Bright said about Colin?” Her eyes glistened.
“Yes, honey, I heard.” He looked at his daughter with compassion. “And I know that your brother wouldn’t make something like that up.” Amy’s mouth gaped, but Harold continued. “And I think we both know that, despite what people in this town have been saying, Ephram’s a good boy, and he wouldn’t force Colin into anything. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you know it’s the truth.”
Amy paled and tears escaped her eyes. She shook her head and her lips moved dumbly.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Mrs. Hart looked at her husband and clutched his arm. “It isn’t true!”
“Of course it’s not true!” Mr. Hart breathed heavily and looked around the room angrily. “What’s happened to all of you? You actually think my son is some queer?”
No one said anything and their silence lay heavily over the room. Amy cried softly, her arms wrapped around herself.
“Jim, I know this must be hard for you…” Dr. Abbott spoke in a soothing tone.
“Hard? It’s not true! He’s…he’s my son. Don’t you understand? He can’t be gay. It’s ridiculous!” He turned to Ephram. “So, you’ve managed to brainwash Bright, too, is that it? You’re the one causing all the problems. You never should have come here.”
“If Ephram and his father hadn’t come to Everwood, Colin would still be in a coma,” Bright said. “Or he’d be dead.”
The Harts shook their heads and sputtered, apparently unable to come up with any argument to that point.
“I know you don’t want to believe it, but Colin’s gay, okay?” Bright moved closer to them, imploringly. “Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I denied it for too long and so has Colin. He like, hung Ephram out to dry because he’s afraid of what you’ll think. He put on a good act before, but can’t you see through it now? He’s totally screwed up. He’s sneaking into people’s houses to steal booze, I mean, that’s…crazy.”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous!” Mr. Hart’s anger was building. “He was confused! He wasn’t stealing anything!”
“Yes, he was, and he knew what he was doing.” Ephram finally spoke. Everyone turned to him, and Irv put a hand on his shoulder as if to silence him. Ephram shook him off and walked closer to Mr. Hart, stopping in front of him. “He’s been drinking a lot lately. He told me he gets it from people’s houses, no one locks their doors around here. He must have thought they were out. Or maybe he didn’t, maybe…I don’t know, he wanted to get caught.”
“This is insane. We’re supposed to believe anything you say?” Mrs. Hart was incredulous.
“You can believe whatever you want, but you’re just hurting him more. Can’t you just accept it? Who cares if he’s gay?” Ephram’s heart pounded in his chest as he faced down Colin’s parents.
Mr. Hart’s fist seemed to explode out of nowhere, but before it could make contact with Ephram’s face, Bright’s strong hands were shoving him away. Bright’s head snapped back with the impact.
“My son is not a faggot!”
Everyone just looked between Mr. Hart and Bright in shocked silence. Harold and Rose rushed to Bright’s side, but he waved them off.
“Yes, I am.”
At first Ephram thought he’d imagined Colin’s flat, tired voice. But when everyone pivoted to the entrance of the waiting room, he was there, leaning against the wall for support.
After what seemed to Ephram like an eternity, Colin spoke. “Mom, Dad…Amy…I’m sorry. But it’s true.” He swallowed thickly. “I’m gay.” He seemed spent, and wavered on his feet slightly.
Ephram could hardly believe it. Colin had actually done it, he’d told the truth.
“You should be in bed.” The nurse who had found Ephram in Colin’s room stepped forward from where she had been hovering in the corner of the room, too transfixed by the drama unfolding to go back to her duties. Now she leapt into action, moving quickly to Colin’s side.
Colin pulled away from her. “Don’t blame Ephram, okay? This is just the way I am.” The nurse again tried to move Colin away.
“But…you’re…my son. I don’t…understand…” Mr. Hart was suddenly deflated and confused, all his anger gone. His wife stood beside him, her mouth slack, hands flopped to her sides. They both looked grief stricken, and Ephram turned away, unable to look at them any longer.
Colin said nothing, allowing the nurse to lead him away down the hall. Ephram watched him go and then he was moving too, away from everyone, into the sunshine.
---
“How’s Amy?” They sat on the ground in the hospital parking lot, slumped against the wall where Bright had found Ephram.
“Dude, how do you think she is?” Bright looked at him askance.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Ephram sighed. “Uh, how’s your face?”
“It hurts, but I’ll live. My Dad’s probably looking all over for me, he treats me like such a baby sometimes.”
“Yeah. I suspect my father will be riding in on his white horse any minute.”
Bright smiled contritely. “I guess we shouldn’t complain, though, huh?”
“No, I guess not.” They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ephram spoke again. “So, um, Bright?”
“Yeah?” Bright’s eyes were closed and his fingers danced over the left side of his face lightly.
“Why’d you do it?”
“What?”
“Take that punch for me.”
Bright opened his eyes and looked at Ephram. “I don’t know. You’re like…smaller than me. Smaller than Mr. Hart. I didn’t really think about it. It’s no big deal.”
“Well, thanks. Your…uh, instincts are pretty cool.”
Bright shifted uncomfortably. “I guess. Um, thanks.”
“So, why’d you do the other thing you did?”
“What?”
Ephram sighed impatiently. “Out Colin, you dumbass.”
“What? I didn’t do that! I just…I just…” Bright searched for the right words.
“Outted him.”
“I was just trying to help. I didn’t mean…was that the wrong thing to do?” Panic flickered across his face.
“No, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. You did help, I think. You definitely helped me. Don’t feel bad, okay?”
“Do you think Colin will be mad at me? I should have let him tell them himself. Fuck…”
“He did tell them himself, Bright. It’s okay. You did help.” Ephram patted him on the arm, awkwardly. “Sometimes people just need a push, you know?”
“Bright? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Dr. Abbott marched towards them. “Let me see your face!” Ephram and Bright rose to their feet and Dr. Abbott gently took hold of Bright’s chin and tilted his face to the side.
“Dad, I’m fine. Don’t spaz out.”
Harold fixed him with a withering glare. “I am doing no such thing.” He examined Bright’s eye carefully. “We need to put some ice on this, come on.”
“Um, Dr. Abbott?”
Harold turned, as if noticing Ephram there for the first time. “Yes?”
“Thanks. For what you said in there. You know, about me.”
Harold looked for a moment that he would say something sarcastic, but his face softened. “You’re welcome. Your father should be here any minute to pick you up.”
“Thanks.” Ephram didn’t know what else to say and cleared his throat nervously. Bright gave him a wave and disappeared back into the hospital with his father.
After Andy arrived, his face pinched with worry, Ephram insisted on going home. In the car, he told his father what had happened and Andy had almost done a u-turn after he heard what Mr. Hart had done.
But Ephram had reached out and steadied the steering wheel. He just wanted to go home.
---
“Ephram, phone!” Ephram woke with a start. He’d fallen asleep on his bed, surrounded by Manga. He seemed to be taking a lot of naps lately.
“Okay, I’ve got it!” He shouted back down to Delia and picked up the extension. “Hello?” There was no response. “Hello?” Ephram sighed heavily. “You guys really need to learn a few new tricks, you know that? Crank calling is so last century.” He moved to hang up the phone when he heard a tiny voice on the other end.
“Ephram?”
Ephram paused and then put the phone up to his ear. “Yeah.”
“Um…hey.”
“Hey.” There was only silence in response. “Is that what you called to say, Colin?”
“No…I just…sorry.”
“So, what do you want?”
“I just wanted to know how you were.”
Ephram sighed. “I’m great. Never been better. You?”
“I don’t know. Things are like, weird here. I came home from the hospital a couple of days ago and my parents won’t let me out of their sight. I can’t even go to the last few days of school. I wanted to come and see you, but…”
“That’s probably not a good idea, anyway.”
“Oh.”
“Look, I just can’t forget about how much you hurt me, Colin.”
“I know. I don’t expect you to.”
“Well…good.” Ephram curled the phone cord around his finger. “So…how are they taking it?”
“Not so well. They think I’m just all confused from the accident. I tried to explain, but…it’s hard. Bright tried to come over, but they wouldn’t even let him in the house.”
“That sucks. He’s…he’s a good guy. You aren’t mad at him or anything, are you?”
“Nah. I was going to tell them and he just made it easier, in a weird way.”
“Yeah.”
It seemed neither of them knew what else to say, and Ephram chewed his lip.
Finally, Colin spoke again. “I really did mean what I said in the hospital. I just wanted to make sure you knew that.”
Ephram closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “I don’t know if that’s enough. I just...I don’t know.”
“Is this about that other guy?” Colin exhaled the words in a rush.
Ephram’s eyes popped open. “No! It’s not about him, okay? It’s not like I’m even…this is about you, Colin.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…look, Ephram, I know that I hurt you and that I was a total asshole. But I’m just…I’m just finding out who I am and maybe you could eventually…I don’t know. Like me again.”
“Yeah. Maybe. Look, I’ve got to go. Bye.” He hung up quickly. Ephram swallowed the lump in this throat and lay back down on his bed. He didn’t know what to think. Colin had finally come clean with his parents, but Ephram had let him get away with so much before, he’d always given in. Look where that had gotten him.
Funny how he could not like Colin after everything he’d done, but could love him so much.
---
“So, tell me again why we have to go to this stupid thing? I’m not even graduating.” Ephram sulked as his father drove them towards the high school.
“Because the whole town will be there and we’re part of the community,” Delia said from the back seat.
Ephram rolled his eyes. “Yeah, thanks for your input, Delia. You listen to Dad too much.”
“I do?”
“There’s no such thing as listening to me too much, sweetie.” Andy smiled at Delia in the rearview mirror and she smiled back. Ephram sighed dramatically. “Come on, Ephram, we discussed this. You’re not going to New York for the summer, so you’re going to have to get used to facing the people of Everwood. The end-of-the-year assembly and graduation is a tradition in this town.”
“Maybe I should go to New York after all.” Ephram was still sulking.
“You know you can, it’s your decision,” Andy said.
Ephram knew he was giving his father a hard time and it wasn’t really fair, since it had been his own choice not to visit his grandparents. They still didn’t know he was gay and part of him never wanted to tell them.
As they pulled into the parking lot Ephram noted that it was almost filled to capacity. Great, the whole town was there to whisper about him and point and laugh. He knew his father was right, and that he couldn’t let them win, but he was still counting the minutes until he could go home and hide in his room again.
Inside the auditorium were many banners congratulating the graduates and trumpeting the success of various school teams, especially the basketball team, although they hadn’t done nearly as well the past season without Colin.
Ephram, Andy and Delia sat near the back and Andy smiled and boomed “hello!” at anyone who stared at them. Ephram couldn’t help but snicker. The Abbotts walked past on their way down the aisle and Bright nodded at Ephram. Amy said something to Bright that he dismissed with a shrug. She huffed a sigh and turned on her heel, back into the hallway.
“I’ll be right back,” Ephram said to his father and he followed Amy into the hall. He saw a glimpse of her rounding the corner at the end of the corridor, and he sped up his pace. He eventually found her outside the music room, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hey.” Ephram’s voice was little more than a croak.
Amy didn’t look at him, but kept her eyes trained upwards. “What do you want, Ephram?”
“I just wanted to see how you were.”
She snorted and looked at him in disbelief. “How do you think I am? My boyfriend cheated on me with another guy.” Her words dripped with venom. “And now he says he’s gay, which really makes me question everything I ever thought was true.”
“I know this must be hard for you – ”
“Hard? You don’t have a clue, Ephram. Just leave me alone.” Amy crossed her arms and looked away.
Anger boiled up inside Ephram. “What, you think this has been easy for me? Is that what you think, Amy? Well, newsflash, this sucks for all of us. You think I wanted to hurt you? I didn’t, and Colin didn’t either. Sometimes things just happen.”
“It didn’t just happen, Ephram. You let it happen, you made it happen.” Amy’s eyes flashed and her tone was steely.
“No, Colin and I made it happen. He came on to me first, Amy. He’s not an innocent bystander.”
She shook her head and swallowed thickly. “But–“
“No, Amy. Look, I know it sucks for you and I really am sorry, whether you believe me or not. But Colin’s gay. It if hadn’t have been me, it would have been another guy eventually. He thought he could keep on pretending, but he couldn’t.”
Amy looked down, hiding behind her veil of hair. Ephram shuffled his feet and wondered whether he should just walk away.
“I thought he loved me.” Amy’s voice was choked with emotion and when she raised her head, Ephram saw the tears streaking her cheeks. “But he never really did, even back then, it was all a lie.” She sucked in a gulp of air. “And I loved him so much.”
Ephram didn’t think, just took a step and gathered Amy in his arms, stroking her hair while she wept. She resisted at first, but soon she clung to him tightly. After a few minutes, she pulled away and sniffed loudly.
“Amy…”
“I’m sorry, Ephram,” Amy said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
Ephram tried to smile. “Hey, you can cry on me anytime.”
“I mean I’m sorry about how horribly I treated you after…after what I saw in the shed. I knew…I mean, I think I knew, deep down. But I didn’t want to believe it. Blaming you seemed like the easiest thing to do, and everyone else was, so…”
“Oh. Forget about it, it doesn’t matter anymore. And Amy, he did love you.”
“Don’t say that.” Amy stepped back from him, her spine stiffened.
“It’s true. He’s just really confused. It’s hard when you have these feelings that you don’t understand and that practically no one else understands either. But I know that he never wanted to hurt you and that he did love you.” Ephram wasn’t sure if it were true, but he figured Amy needed to hear it.
They heard the dull roar of applause in the distance.
“I guess it’s starting, we should get back.” Amy spoke formally, as if she hadn’t been sobbing in Ephram’s arms just a few minutes before.
“Yeah,” Ephram said.
They walked back to the auditorium silently. At the door, Amy paused.
“So…later.”
“Yeah.”
Amy walked inside and joined her family. His father leaned over and whispered, “how did that go?” when Ephram took his seat. Ephram shrugged. He really didn’t know. There had been a few moments where they seemed to have come to an understanding, but he wasn’t sure.
The ceremony began with a few ponderous speeches and award presentations and Ephram began to tune out. After what seemed like an eternity, the principal returned to the microphone.
“Well, it’s just about time to bring up our graduates. But before we do, we have one last award to give out. It’s a special award, this year, for courage. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that the recipient of this award is Colin Hart.”
Thunderous applause filled the room and many people stood. Ephram realized that word had not spread of Colin’s declaration at the hospital. The only other witness outside the Harts and the Abbotts and Irv had been the nurse, and she must have kept it to herself.
There was some kind of small commotion going on near the stage and Ephram realized with a sinking feeling that Colin was reluctantly being pushed and prodded into the spotlight. Ephram hadn’t even know Colin was in attendance, he figured his parents were still keeping him under lock and key.
The clapping finally died down and people took their seats. Colin stood awkwardly, his eyes darting around the auditorium. His hands were still bandaged, but the sleeves of his long t-shirt hid most of it. He cradled the small trophy the principal had given him in the crook of his left arm.
“Um…thanks. I really didn’t expect this. I…it’s been a weird year. But I have a few things to say, so I’m glad to have the chance with you all here.”
Ephram’s heart pounded in his chest as Colin cleared his throat. A hush fell over the room and all eyes were on Colin.
Colin’s voice rang out over the crowd. “The thing is, I don’t really deserve this award. Ephram Brown does.”(c) everfic. cue edna's voice: i don't own squat, private.
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