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One Word Series
by bigboobedcanuckChapter Two: Expectation
Disclaimer: I own nothing, etc.
Rating: R, for sexual antics. And we're still angsty.
Feedback: Yes please![ * ]
Ephram slouched into the kitchen and opened the fridge, staring blankly at the contents.
“Ephram? Is something bothering you?”
Ephram turned to regard his father, sitting at the counter and looking at him with a concerned gaze. “No, everything’s fine.” He turned back to the fridge.
“Well, you just seem pretty quiet lately. I mean, more than usual.” Andy forced out a laugh.
Great, Ephram thought, with a mental eye-roll. Dad’s trying to bond and be pals. “Everything’s fine, dad. Don’t worry about it.” Ephram closed the fridge and left the kitchen.
“Well, if you want to talk, you know I’m always here, Ephram,” his father called after him.
Ephram ignored him and returned to the cocoon of his room. It was easier in here, he thought. No one to talk to, no one to talk back and ask what the problem was. Because there was no problem, not really.
So he kissed another guy. Whatever, it apparently happened a lot with teenagers. Experimentation, right? Totally normal. Okay, so they’d done a bit more than just kissing. The memory of Colin’s warm hand on his cock ricocheted through Ephram’s brain and he rubbed his face, as if he could erase the memory like words from a chalkboard.
It didn’t mean anything. Hell, he’d been crazy about Amy for ages after he’d moved to this crappy town. It’s not like he was...no, that was just ridiculous.
It was nothing.
Ephram sighed and grabbed his Discman, turning up the old Rage Against the Machine CD.
The more noise, the better.
Still, his mind raced, and he cursed himself again for not being able to put this behind him, as Colin clearly had. He felt a flash of pain, which he quickly tramped down, as he thought of Colin.
It had been almost a week since the day in the darkroom. Apparently, Colin hadn’t given it a second thought, since he and Amy were just as adorable as ever. They got into a tickle fight in the library earlier in the day, and Ephram had watched from the other side of the room. He had to retreat into the stacks, the musty smell of the books suddenly making him want to throw up.
At least, he tried to convince himself it was the books.
They said hi in the hallways, Colin and Amy and Bright holding court with their loyal subjects trailing along behind, the latter shooting Ephram poisonous glances. Ephram said hi back, pretended that seeing Colin was no big deal.
Which it wasn’t.
He kept to himself, not even talking to Wendell. Ephram was afraid that if he started talking, words would come tumbling out that he would regret. Everyone already thought he was a freak; he didn’t need to prove them right.
The CD ended, and Ephram took out his earphones and turned out the light. He prayed for a dreamless sleep, without red tint and soft breath echoing in his ear.
“Hey.”
Ephram looked up from his history textbook, which he hadn’t really been reading. Colin hovered beside his desk. They were early, and only a few other classmates sat in the room.
Ephram swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “Hey.” Very original.
“So, how’s it going?” Colin looked nervous. He was going for “casual,” but Ephram could see through him.
“It’s fine. Never better. Why do you ask?” Ephram could hear the brittleness in his voice. He returned his gaze to his textbook.
“I…was just wondering. Look, can I talk to you after class?”
Ephram looked back up. Colin looked at him with his blank stare. “Why? I don’t think we have anything to talk about.” Ephram felt the anger coursing through him. He wanted to leap up and hit him. He wanted to make Colin feel like he did.
“Okay, forget it.” Colin moved away and sat in his desk.
As the rest of the class filed in, Ephram stared at the meaningless textbook. The teacher began droning, and not for the first time he wished that he could be over the hills and far away.
----------------------------------
Ephram slammed his locker shut and walked down the hall, happy that at least he could go home to the safety and silence of his room. He stopped short when he saw Colin at the end of the hall.
People rushed around them, eager to leave school. Ephram thought about turning around and going another way, but he didn’t want to look like he was scared. What did he have to be scared about? Colin had started the whole stupid thing. He squared his shoulders and strode down the hall.
“Hey,” he said to Colin as he neared him. Cool, casual. See, there was no problem here. Colin reached out with his good left hand, and lightly grabbed Ephram’s arm. He could feel Colin’s fingers burning him through his clothing.
Nope, no problem at all.
“Look, can we just talk. Please?”
Ephram pulled his arm away. “Fine, whatever. Where do you want to go?”
The question hung in the air, and Ephram thought anywhere but...there.
“I was going to take some pictures at the lookout, you wanna come? I mean, we’re still friends, right?”
Ephram contemplated this. “Yeah, right. Sure, let’s go.”
They walked in silence out into the crisp, late-afternoon air.
Finally, Colin spoke. “So, how’s it going?”
“It’s fine. How’s Amy?” Ephram winced at the bitterness in the question. God, he was acting all…jealous, or something.
“She’s good. You know, the usual.”
“Uh huh.”
Silence descended again at they reached the trail. The sun was shining, and despite himself, Ephram smiled at the hint of spring in the air. He breathed deeply.
“Pretty cool weather, huh?”
“Yeah.” So, is this how things were going to be? So much for still being friends. Talking about Colin’s girlfriend and the weather.
When they reached the lookout, Colin took out his camera and checked the settings. His actions were slow and deliberate, but his right hand was definitely improving, Ephram noted.
Colin snapped some pictures and Ephram leaned against a tree, watching.
Finally, he spoke. “So, what did you want to talk about, Colin?”
Colin put his camera back in its case, carefully. “I just wanted to make sure things were cool. You know, that you’re not...I don’t know, expecting anything.”
“Me?” Ephram was incredulous and he straightened up from the tree. “You’re the one who kissed me!”
Shit.
He hadn’t meant to say that. Not out loud. Now it was out there, he had assigned words to the…thing that happened.
Colin blushed and looked down. “I know, and I know I said a lot of stuff about not liking Amy. But…you understand why it has to be like this, right? I can’t break up with her, I have to be what they want me to be. I can’t disappoint everyone.”
“Yeah, except me.”
Shit.
His lips really needed to be glued shut. He thought of the interrogation scene in “The Matrix.” Could someone please just remove his mouth?
“Ephram…I…” Colin stumbled over the words and he turned away, looking out at the vista spread before them.
Ephram didn’t know what the hell to do. It was ridiculous that they should be having this conversation. They were just good friends, right? That’s what they’d said then. Red-drenched images flashed unbidden through his mind.
Ephram stood beside him, keeping his eyes forward. “Look, Colin. All I know is that…” He paused, and then took a deep breath. “All I know is that when I see you, all I can think about is kissing you again. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but that’s what I know.”
Colin said nothing, staring blankly ahead.
“Look, forget it, just stay with Amy, and whatever. It’s cool, I’m sure this is just some stupid phase that doesn’t mean anything. Okay? So just forget it.” Ephram’s words left him in a rush and he picked up his knapsack from where he has tossed it on the ground when they’d arrived.
He turned back to the trail, fighting the urge to run.
Suddenly Ephram was being spun around, and Colin’s glittering eyes met his. His hands clutched Ephram’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Ephram. You don’t know how sorry I am. I think the same thing, okay? I think the same thing.” Then his lips were on Ephram’s, and the world slid out of focus and away.
Ephram dropped his bag and wound his arms around Colin, Colin’s lips soft on his, their tongues already meeting. He reveled in the taste, the smell, the sensation.
He felt a passion that he had never felt for Amy. Or for Laynie. Or for anyone else.
Colin pressed him back against a tree beside the path, pressing their bodies close together. Ephram wished they were not wearing so many clothes. Their mouths still moved together and Ephram wished they weren’t wearing clothes at all.
They kissed and kissed, stopping only to breath and to work their hands beneath the layers. Ephram ran his hands up Colin’s bare back beneath his shirt and caressed the soft skin.
Colin sucked on his neck, and Ephram tried to catch his breath. He realized that Colin was sinking to his knees before him, and he scrambled for a tighter grip.
“Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy?”
Colin looked up from where he now knelt on the ground. “I’m fine. Don’t worry, E.” He smiled crookedly.
Ephram opened his mouth to remind Colin not to call him that, when he realized that his pants were being opened. Colin had managed to do it himself. The physiotherapy had certainly been doing wonders, Ephram thought.
Then he didn’t think anymore, as Colin’s mouth was on his cock, and he had never felt anything quite so wonderful in all his life.
He tried to speak, to tell Colin to stop.
They shouldn’t be doing this. Even if it felt like a hundred standing ovations all wrapped up into one wonderful sensation. Ephram’s hands were in Colin’s hair, and he moaned and felt that his chest might burst from lack of oxygen.
Colin was licking and sucking, and suddenly Ephram was coming in his mouth, crying out, the noise echoing in his brain, and maybe across the mountains as well.
Ephram opened his eyes, and saw that the setting sun had cast a pink hue over the landscape.
He thought he’d never seen a sunset so perfect.
He looked down and met Colin’s eyes. He realized that Colin had choked a bit, and was coughing and wiping his mouth. He flushed with embarrassment.
“Hey, are you okay? I’m really sorry, it just happened so fast.” He sank down and knelt with Colin on the ground.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just…never done that before. I was just…surprised, I guess.”
“Yeah.” Holy shit. A guy had just sucked his dick. And anyone could have come along and seen them. He looked around quickly.
They were still alone.
Ephram reached down and fixed himself up. He saw a wet spot on Colin’s jeans, and realized that he’d already come, too.
Colin saw his gaze and said sheepishly, “It didn’t need much encouragement.”
They laughed and Ephram leaned over and kissed him. He could taste himself on Colin’s lips, and he realized, disconcertingly, that it was…kinda hot.
Shit.
When did this happen? When did he get turned on by the taste of cum? Where was this going to stop?
But he didn’t need to look for an answer, because Colin was struggling to his feet and Ephram could sense that, once again, he had turned on his façade.
Jesus, it was like a light switch.
“Look, Ephram. What I said before still goes. This is just something between us, no one has to know. It’s not like anything…real, or whatever. Everything’s still normal.”
Right, normal. This coming from the guy who’d just given him a blow job.
Colin kept talking. “I don’t know why I did that, I just wanted to try it. We’re just good friends.”
Ephram sighed. So, here they were again. “Yeah, Colin. Just good friends.” The sarcasm was unmistakable. He grabbed his knapsack and took off down the path.
He turned for a split second and regretted it, knowing that later he’d dream of Colin, standing forlorn against the beautiful, darkening sky.(c) everfic. cue edna's voice: i don't own squat, private.
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