Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Don't sue,
I'll cry. ;p
Summary: Told from Max's POV. Over ten years
in the future, Max thinks back on what he once had.
Rating: PG
Classification: Max/Liz
Spoilers: Takes place after 'It's too Late,
and it's too Bad.'
Warning: Character death.
- - -
I can feel my heartbeat slowing and
my breath slipping away. I'm more sure of it than anything else I've ever
thought to be sure of: I'm dying. I cradle Tess gently in my arms and I can hear
her sobs of fear. I should probably be frightened, too. But I'm not.
My strength is failing, and a weakness has come to wash over my entire body,
making my bones seem brittle and old. It aches to move a muscle, but somehow a
smile finds its way to my face as I think of her. Not the one I hold in my arms;
the beloved of my childhood that slipped away.
She exists in my heart still, and I never wanted it any other way. Everytime I
close my eyes, I see her face. With each kiss I shared with my wife, Tess, over
these years, my lips screamed out to whisper her name: Liz. Like an angel I
remember her, and I see her slight form as if in some faint distant memory. Long
ago as it was that I last touched her skin, the memory of her exists clear as
day in my mind.
My mind searches back years to the day that Liz became informed of the baby that
stemmed from my creation in Tess's womb. Michael came running to me, swearing
the information slipped; his eyes wild with realization of the repercussions of
his mistake, he'd begged me to forgive him. I had. Liz had to have found out
sometime.
I couldn't face her. Couldn't stay strong if I saw her baby face crumbling in
pain as the tears started to fall. She'd never forgive me, never forget that I
had turned away from her and embraced my destiny. And what she could never know
is that I never turned away. Always she was in the back of my mind as my hands
roamed over Tess's body in bed. But it was better this way - - now she could
move on and enjoy a life that she deserved with a human husband and that white
picket fence all little girls dream of.
In the sunny afternoon, I hid away from sight as I glimpsed her up on the
bleachers behind the highschool. From the other side of the football field I
watched, tortured as I was to see her being consoled by someone else. She sat
leaning against Sean DeLuca, her tears falling to gently wet his shirt. Although
the confusion in his face revealed she never told him what was wrong, still I
saw him hold her close and whisper words with such tenderness I could have
screamed. None of this was fair. My soul ached to be the one to kiss her tears
away, and yet here I stood, away from sight.
I never saw her again. It's ironic that it was her determined search for the
truth that revealed to us the way home. We left the next day. And even though
I'll always remember the pain of saying goodbye to my parents without them even
knowing it, no physical pain in the universe could compare to what I felt when
she didn't show up. Hopelessly I waited, my heart in my throat, overlooking the
cliff the four of us occupied, just waiting for her to come. An eternity I would
have waited, but Michael encircled my body and pulled me away from the edge, the
apology present in his eyes as he pulled me into our ride home.
Maria cried, Kyle's manly exterior finally broke down and he cried with her as
the two walked away. Tess looked to me with an empty stare, knowing why it was
that my eyes were so bleak. In that spaceship that looked nothing like the ones
in cartoons, we took off, never to return. My eyes shut tightly as the others
looked out the windows on our way up, drinking in the look of their childhood
home for the last time. I couldn't look back. I didn't want to look back. From
that moment I vowed to forget Liz, the girl that had broken my heart so very
many times.
Over the years, my anger subsided, and it was a good thing, for never would she
leave my thoughts. Even at the beginning when I would cry out in torment as I
dreamed of her face, it never could leave my subconscious. I've become accepting
of her decision to not say goodbye; in the end, I think it was the least painful
way to end it. I have to believe that had she shown up, nothing could have torn
me away from her. I HAVE to believe that. If I don't, I just might end up hating
her for leaving me to stand alone atop that cliff on our final day on Earth. And
I don't ever want to hate her.
I suppose nearly anyone else that exists in this thing we call life would be
thinking of the battle right about now, the battle that has left me clinging to
life with all I have in me. But I choose to block out all the blood and the
memory of seeing the three closest to me in all the world crying out in pain as
they were slaughtered, just as I have been. The blood leaves so fast once a
wound is open; and with so many of them surrounding me there was no time to heal
it. So I dropped to the ground in defeat, my kingdom shattered, my legacy over.
And yet after all of this, still my mind returns to her.
Liz. Just the sound of her name takes away some of my pain and replaces it with
a warm feeling that flows through my body. I close my eyes and I can again see
her big brown eyes as they search mine for the love she hopes to find returned.
In my fingertips I can feel the silky strands of her rich dark hair that flowed
down over her narrow shoulders. Reaching way back into the depths of my memory,
I can again feel the joy in holding her small body close to mine as my lips meet
with hers. I can feel her heart beating with fervor as her eyes meet mine, and I
can feel again the love and respect I've always had for her in my soul.
Her heart belongs to someone else now, I'm sure. The memory of me has probably
been supressed in her mind to spare her the pain of thinking about what we had
for that agonizingly short period of time. And still my own heart cries out to
her, wanting her to know that my love for her has never stopped and will still
be whispered in the soft wind as it dances in her hair. Forever and always my
heart will belong to her and her alone. As I lay here dying, millions of miles
away, and many many years later, I can only hope Liz knows that and can feel how
I've yearned for her all these years.
In my arms, I can feel that Tess has already slipped away, and I can tell I'll
be soon to join her. I close my eyes and inhale for my last breath, and let go
of this life that has taken me up and down so many different paths. As my heart
stops beating I know only one thing to be absolutely true, and that is that Liz
Parker made it all worthwhile.
The end.
