"See ya, Joey..." The words echoed painfully in her heart as Joey Potter
walked away from her one true love. Without pausing to look back, she walked
into the house and slammed the door shut.
The dried tears clinging to her face, Joey continued silently through the
house, a blank stare residing through her sunken eyes. Slow, monotonous steps to
her bedroom. Slowly she swung her door shut, waiting for the slight click that
signalled it was closed. Tensely, her legs feeling like lead, Joey shuffled her
way to her bed and sat down, glaring at the wall.
- - -
"Wild thang! You make my heart sing. You make EVERYTHING grooooooovay! Wild
thang..." Pacey Witter banged his head like a pro as he strained to hit the
right notes, belting out the tune that resounded loudly from his father's car
radio.
On a personal high from his recent "make up" with his normally hateful
father, the teenage boy grinned giddily as he drove through the small town of
Capeside, occasionally taking delight in scaring people to death by momentarily
setting off the police siren that was a part of the car.
"Sucker!" he'd yelled immaturely at about ten bystanders as they'd jumped
after hearing the sudden prominent noise. This was usually followed by a
high-pitched laugh of victory from Pacey as he continued on his merry way,
skidding the tires and hollering his way to the next victim.
- - -
Her eyes tired and strained from the staring, Josephine stood up and
sluggishly made her way out of her bedroom to find a frazzled Bessie in the
living room. In place of her normally reassuring, calm and collected older
sister, Joey found a woman distraught beyond belief. Bessie sat on the couch,
her left knee continuously moving a quarter inch up and down, up and down. In
her hands she held a dishcloth, which was severely mangled at this point from
being agonizingly twisted and untwisted in Bessie's ruthless hands.
A slight glance at the floor would find baby Alexander asleep on a pale
yellow afghan. Joey pursed her lips together and stooped down to pick up her
young nephew. Glancing uneasily at her older sister, Joey calmly rocked
Alexander in her arms, trying to keep them from shaking too much.
After clearing her throat, Joey spoke, but was surprised to find how weak her
voice sounded. "Um, Bessie?"
Bessie didn't answer, didn't even remove her stare from the cloth in her
hands.
"Bessie..." Joey tried again, cautiously feeling her way along, lest her
sister should all of a sudden freak out.
Suddenly Joey was startled when her sister flicked her head up.
"Joey," Bessie started in a shaky but definite tone, "I've...I've gotta get
out of here. I can't stand to just sit back and think about what just happened
with Dad, and...I can't stand to think about what kind of financial situation
this has put us in, and...oh God, Jo, I can't stand to think!"
Joey seemed at a loss for words and returned her sister's antics with an
exasperated look.
"I uh...I have to get out of here, Joey," Bessie continued. She stood up,
dropped the dishtowel and grabbed her purse.
"Bessie, wait, where are you going?" Joey exclaimed, suddenly alarmed by the
panic in her sister's voice.
"To space, to the bottom of the ocean, hell, to the next town, wherever!"
Bessie answered as she grabbed her son from Joey. "All I know is that I HAVE to
get away from here, and fast, before I...before I go absolutely crazy!"
Joey's eyes widened. "What, so you're just gonna leave me here?"
"No, of course not, Joey, you're welcome to come with me. I just have to
leave Capeside for a few days...I have to sort things out. It's just too hard
when I'm surrounded by everything that reminds me of Dad right now. It keeps me
from being rational."
Joey's shoulders slumped. "Bessie, I...have to stay. I mean, I have to finish
the school year. There may be only a few days left, but I can't just miss them.
I mean, they could be vital to the rest of my highschool education, I--"
"FINE, then stay here!" Bessie interrupted, obviously having no patience at
the moment. "But Joey, I'm telling you, I've never been so confused and lost as
I am right now. I really need to sort things out..." Her face softened as she
saw Joey's lip quiver. "Oh Joey, honey I'm so sorry." Bessie pulled her little
sister into a small hug, which unfortunately didn't provide much reassurance for
either of the two.
Reluctantly pulling away, Joey let out a deep breath. "Okay, Bess, if you
have to get away, who am I to stop you?.."
Bessie quickly scanned the small sitting room with her eyes, and shifted her
son from one hip to the other. "Okay Joey, um...good luck at school, I guess.
I'm really sorry about this. You know I love you. I guess I'm just not prepared
to handle such disastrous situations..." Her voice trailed off as she headed out
the front door.
Joey nervously brushed a silky strand of hair behind her ear. She could hear
Bessie's old truck starting up outside, although the closed front door muffled
the sound a bit. The ever-familiar sound of the gravel skidding underneath the
heavy tires signalled to Joey that Bessie actually had left. Her big sister had
left her alone at this time in her life. All alone.
She couldn't stand it any longer. Joey threw open the front door and flew
down the porch steps, running as fast as she could away from that house. That
house that held so many painful memories that were just too much to handle.
Without looking back, Joey ran away. Not caring where she ended up, she just
kept going. One foot after the other in a monotonous cycle.
- - -
Now tired of his crazy doings, Pacey turned the radio down to a somewhat
reasonable notch and slowed down to where he was driving a mere ten miles over
the speed limit. The sun had gone down over the lazy fishing town and he drove
on in the darkness not for a certain reason, but mostly out of sheer boredom.
A few minutes after passing the sign signalling he was out of Capeside, Pacey
slowed the car down considerably as he noticed a familiar figure strutting along
the side of the road. "Potter?" he mumbled to himself as he pulled the car over
and parked it.
Joey heard a car pull over and stop close behind her and got panicked. Eyes
wide, she took off on a run, not even wanting to know who it was that had pulled
up behind her.
Seeing her run off, Pacey quickly got out of the car and hurried to catch up
with her. Joey heard footsteps behind her and ran faster. Normally her mind
might have sorted out the odds of something dangerous actually happening near
Capeside, but on a night like this, she figured anything terrible was possible.
Fortunately for Pacey, however, his strong legs quickly caught up with Joey
and he reached out to grab her hand, stopping her from getting away. Joey
screamed in terror and was quickly whipped around. Seeing the familiar handsome
face of her longtime partner in sarcasm, she fainted from relief.
- - -
Ever so slowly, Joey re-opened her eyes. After a quick look at her
surroundings, she recognized them to be her living room. Propping herself up on
her elbows, Joey realized she was on her old raggety couch. She frowned,
confused, and would have remained so if Pacey hadn't come strutting in at that
moment.
"Potter, you're finally awake," he teased, setting a steaming cup on the
coffee table. "Drink that," he instructed, pointing to the cup.
Joey frowned, but reached over to pick up the cup by its sturdy handle.
Disgusted, she stared down into the putrid-smelling muck. "Pacey, what the hell
is this?"
"Will ya trust me for once, Jo? It's this herbal crap that I heard about on
an infomercial, okay? It's like supposed to help...ya know, stuff..."
Joey couldn't help but let out a slight laugh. "Stuff?"
Pacey grinned and shrugged, taking the cup from the girl who now had a
sarcastic smile on her face. "Ah, I don't really know. It served its purpose
well enough. Seems to have gotten you feeling a little better if you're
smiling."
Upon hearing that, Joey's smile quickly disappeared. She laid back down,
sighing from exhaustion. "Um...Pacey...can I ask you something?"
"Well, although I'm not usually very good in the area of answering questions,
in particular intellegent ones coming from a mouth such as yours--"
"Shut up, douface," Joey interrupted impatiently. "Just listen. Tell me what
just happened."
Pacey quirked a brow. "What just happened? Well, you refused my
grosser-than-gross cup of herbal tea."
"No, not that," Joey argued, shaking her head. "I mean, what happened before
that? All I remember is being outside walking in the dark at night, and...it is
still night, isn't it?"
Pacey nodded. "It's not like you were out for that long. Forty-five minutes,
maybe."
"So...did you bring me here or something?"
Pacey shifted uncomfortably feeling Joey's gaze on him. "Well, I mean, I
couldn't just leave ya on the side of the road ya know, Potter. I mean, I
wouldn't even leave an enemy stranded like that."
"Um...well thanks, Pace," Joey offered politely.
"Ah, don't mention it babe," Pacey nonchalantly answered, sitting down in a
stiff chair and propping his feet on the coffee table.
Joey smiled and rolled her eyes. "Do you take nothing seriously?"
"Mmm, I prefer to live more on the...lighter side of life, Jo. Things are
more fun that way," Pacey explained, flashing a charming smile.
Ironically, Pacey's face suddenly actually formed a serious look. His tone
became more solemn as he stared down at his hands. "So, Potter...you planning on
telling me what happened any time soon?"
Joey shook her head vigorously. "I don't have to tell you anything."
"You know I'm just here to help, Jo. As much as we both sometimes hate to
admit it, we ARE friends. I mean, did I not do a 'friendly' deed in saving you
from being mistaken as roadkill?"
"Oh God, Pacey," Joey started, her brow furrowing, "so you perform one mature
and unselfish act, and suddenly you're mister 'trust me'? I don't think so."
"Look, I'm just trying to help, okay Jo?" Pacey offered innocently. "I mean,
you obviously need someone to talk to, but if you would rather it be Dawson,
then I can always call him for you.."
Joey's face suddenly darkened.
"What? What did I say?" Pacey innocently spread his arms out to the sides. "I
mean, if you don't want to talk to either of us, then, uh..."
Joey shook her head softly. "It's not that, okay Pacey? I just kind of...I
kind of had a fight with Dawson. I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk to
him again."
Pacey shot Joey a sarcastic look. "Are you kidding me, Potter? You never
talking to Dawson again? That's like Juliet deciding to run away from Romeo."
"Pacey, just shut up, okay?" Joey glared, proving this was no joke. "I'm
serious, God."
"Well so-o-o-o-r-r-y, miss pissy," Pacey sneered. "I just find it hard to
believe that two soulmates would choose never to speak to each other again over
something that was no doubt insignificant."
Joey's eyes clouded over with fresh tears. "Insignificant? Pacey, he helped
put my father back in jail!"
Pacey sucked in a breath and was silent for a moment.
"What's the matter?" Joey fired, a tear streaming down her pained face,
"Struck dumb are we?"
"Goddamnit, Potter, how the hell was I supposed to know?" Pacey yelled back,
meeting Joey's glare with a fierce one of his own. "I mean, you say you don't
want to talk, but somehow let out fragments of the problem -- little pieces, and
I'm supposed to suddenly be able to fit them all together to solve the entire
puzzle? I don't THINK so! It doesn't happen that way, okay? I'm here to help,
but you won't let me! All you can seem to do it scream at me!"
Joey's mind momentarily went blank as she stared in astonishment at the boy
who could always make a joke out of everything. A few singular tears zig-zagged
their way down her delicate cheeks as her mouth hung open in shock.
Pacey immediately forgot all his anger and softened his face. "Oh shit, Jo, I
didn't mean to make you cry--" In an uncharacteristic caring move, he hurried
over to the side of the couch to pull Joey into his arms.
Once enveloped in his strong, boyish embrace, Joey sniffled and let the tears
flow. All the monumental events of the day suddenly came to a climax and she
couldn't hold it in any longer. Poor Pacey, thinking this was his doing, gripped
Joey's slight figure tightly and almost came to tears himself.
- - -
Confused now more than ever, Pacey stared quizzically at a sleeping Joey from
across the room. She'd never actually gotten around to telling him any more.
Like a good boy he'd drowned his curiosity and had done what he knew was best,
told Joey to get some more sleep.
As he stared at the angelic face of Joey in a deep sleep, Pacey couldn't help
but miss Andie. He let his thoughts roam to that night so recently when she had
lost it all, had completely gone crazy. Strange, he thought, comparing the two
nights. When he had held Andie in his arms and cried, then had done the same for
Joey. So ironic that he had been there for Joey, though. And as hard as it had
been to reach out to Andie, it was proving to be even more difficult with a girl
as stubborn as Josephine Potter.
Joey's eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times at first, then finally
focusing on Pacey. She looked confused for a minute, then seemed to remember.
"Hey Pace...thanks for staying," she offered genuinely.
Pacey just nodded.
"How long have you been here?" Joey's face seemed, for once, concerned that
Pacey had been too generous.
"Just a couple of hours, Potter. Hey, it's not like I'll be missed at home,
okay? So don't worry about it."
Joey dropped the subject, although she didn't look convinced. Sighing, she
sat up and stared at Pacey for a few minutes silently. Oddly enough, Pacey just
stared back.
"Pacey?" Joey began, "Why are you doing this for me?"
Pacey didn't give an answer, nor did he have one. Somewhere in the back of
his mind he knew that the two had always been friends, yes, but it wasn't the
type of friendship that was being expressed tonight. It was usually more the
"lame inside joke, eternal insult" friendship that had usually been the two's
trademark. Pacey felt almost uncomfortable suddenly being so nice -- feeling so
much closer to this person whom, although he'd known for years, didn't really
know as well as he thought.
Joey accepted the silence as a good enough answer. For once she didn't laugh
in the face of a Pacey without a comeback. She sighed and gave in, knowing she
would explode mentally if she didn't pour out her problems to someone before too
long. "Pacey, you really wanna know what's so wrong with me today?"
Pacey looked surprised. "Wow. That was easy. No making me bribe you, no
intellegence jokes before you just spill it to me?"
Joey rolled her eyes. "Fine, I won't tell you then."
"No wait, sorry, I wanna know. Tell me," Pacey almost begged, tired of the
curiosity.
"Nope. You obviously don't really want to know," Joey teased unmercifully.
"Aww, come on Potter. Please?" Pacey pouted his lip and put on the puppy dog
eyes.
Joey laughed. "God, you're pathetic. Okay, but, I'll tell you, since I need
to tell someone. Would you come sit on the couch by me please?"
Pacey opened his mouth to throw in a comeback about getting too close but
decided it was best if he just shut up and did as he was told. Obediently he
waltzed over to the couch and plopped down next to Joey.
"Before I tell you this, you have to understand," said Joey, giving Pacey a
serious look, "that the only reason I'm telling YOU this is because I don't have
Dawson to talk to, nor do I have Bessie, or...my dad--"
Pacey butted in. "Yeah yeah, I get it, I know. I'm a last resort thing. Okay.
I can deal with that. Just come on, just say it. The suspense is killing me, Jo.
I mean really, if something is so terrible that it makes the toughest of all
tough girls cry in front of moi, then it's gotta be pretty bad...so, in all
seriousness, just trust me to be a good friend this once, okay?"
Joey gave a half smile, but her face quickly took on the serious look again
as she remembered the events of the day. "Well, the shortest version of it is
that, um...my father is dealing drugs again, and Dawson caught him, and...it's
really complicated, Pacey, but my dad's back in jail... And I helped put him
back in there. I really don't know if I'll ever see him again. And, I mean, I
know that Dawson was trying to just protect me and stuff but um...he doesn't
realize what this put me through. I mean, Pacey, I am going to have to live with
myself the rest of my life knowing that I put my father behind bars, maybe for
life." She paused because she was starting to choke up again. "And I mean...I
can't...I can't believe Dawson made me do that..."
Pacey looked sincerely sympathetic. "Oh my God...Jo, I had no idea. I'm
sorry, Jo..."
Joey nodded as the hot tears stung her eyes once again. "God, and I'm never
going to get over this, oh God, what am I gonna do?..."
Pacey suddenly felt so useless, so helpless, not knowing what to do. Joey
looked down as the tears came once again. Pacey gently pulled her chin back up
to face him. He remembered watching Dawson search Joey's eyes many a time, and
tried to do the same. It was too hard -- he couldn't tell what she was thinking.
When that approach failed, Pacey just stuck to what he knew best, and he
pulled Joey into his arms once again. Joey accepted the hug without hesitation,
clinging to Pacey as all she seemed to have left in the world. Bitterly she
thought to herself how ironic it was that this...boy would be all that was left
to comfort her. But his hug felt so good, so real, so genuine. It felt better
than anything had all day.
Slowly Joey slinked away from Pacey's reassuring arms to stare up into his
eyes. She couldn't understand this sudden transformation into all-around good
guy, the friend that's always there. Hadn't that always been Dawson? But now
Dawson was gone, maybe forever, and Pacey...he was here. Right here, right when
she needed him.
Pacey's heart thumped madly in his chest as he stared soulfully into Joey's
eyes. He was now more confused than he'd ever been. A million thoughts raced
through his mind, making his head ache. All he could think of was Joey -- all he
could see was Joey -- this beautiful girl that he'd never really noticed. But
wait, no, that's because he had Andie. Pacey quickly shoved Andie out of his
thoughts. He couldn't think about her now. He had to focus on Joey. This problem
would take all he had.
Without much rational thought, but after plenty of echoing heartbeats, Pacey
slowly leaned in and ever so softly brushed Joey's lips with his. A little
stunned at first, he pulled back, unable to get Andie out of his mind.
Joey's first impulse was to shove him away, to slap him -- but she didn't.
Although a million visions of Dawson flashed through her mind, the last time she
saw his face stood out most prominently. It hardened her guilty conscience.
But then she thought of Andie. Poor innocent little Andie. Locked up in that
mental institution, surely miserable and all alone. Joey wiped away what seemed
like the hundredth tear she'd cried today, and hugged Pacey close once more.
"Thanks Pace," she whispered softly.
A half smile curved up Pacey's face. "Sure thing, Jo. Anytime."
